Off to Visit College

After Chad found the blog post about his missing shirt, he has forbid me to mention him on my blog.  That’s not exactly how we play the game around here . . last time I checked I still get to do what I want to do but that explains the sour look on his face this morning.  He didn’t want to be photographed and he doesn’t want to be seen on my blog . . ever again.  Poor Chad! 🙂

I have to tell you . . and any of you who have lived in a “blended family” situation, if yours is anything like mine, it isn’t easy!  Vince’s parents were immigrants from Sicily, his dad was well into his 50’s when Vince was born.  His parents were of the mindset that you worked hard for everything you got.  Nothing was handed to you . . ever!  Children were certainly not abused but neither were they pampered.  They also worked hard and did exactly what the parents told them to do.  Typical Sicilian family . . we won’t talk about the expectations for the lady of the house! 🙂

Chad was 9 when Vince and I married and he had been raised like most kids, especially those with divorced parents.  Anything he wanted, we tried to give him.  Being an only child didn’t help matters either.  By 9, Chad thought the entire world revolved around him.

It was definitely a clash of cultures.  They get along fine most of the time but Chad is still a very spoiled young man and like most 20 year olds, it’s real hard to balance responsibility, work, responsibility, fun, responsibility, etc.  A lot of the time, I think Vince expects too much and Chad gives too little.  Pretty typical of any family dealing with kids that age I suppose.

But, Vince only wants what’s best for Chad.  I know that and I hope Chad knows it.  Vince has been digging and doing research into the colleges in our area and out of our area.  I’m so thankful he’s handling that role.  They’re off today to look at a college, dorm and dining hall.  They didn’t even ask me to go.  I know exactly why.  The first strange looking kid I see in the dorm, I’d be saying “NO!  I don’t want Chad living here”.  Actually, most days, I’d prefer that Chad stay home and drive to college. There are two colleges within an hour of home.  But, I know leaving home/mom and experiencing dorm life and decision making on his own is something he needs.  He will be 21 in December.  Ouch . . when did my baby grow up?

Anyway, Chad will finish the 2 year program here in December and off he goes  . .  oh, how things will change at my house.

Like this incident . . Chad is supposed to be in at 10 p.m. on week nights.  Last night about 9:50 p.m., the phone rang.  That happens most every week night. 

Chad: Mom, I’m going to be home about 10:30 or 11:00.  I’m going down to the police station.
Me:  WHY?
Chad:  This girl I work with . . her boyfriend is giving her a hard time and I’m going to the police station with her.
Me:  Chad!  Please stay out of it!  This doesn’t involve you.
Chad:  I told her I would go with her.  Goodbye!

At 11:00, I called his cell phone.

Me:  Chad, where are you?
Chad:  (whispering)  Still at the police station.
Me:  Come home NOW!
Chad:  OK.

So, he came home.  Vince and I explained to him that you sometimes just mind your own business . . especially in domestic husband/wife or girlfriend/boyfriend disputes.  He loves to be in the middle of things!

I think Chad was actually spending quality time with one of the officers.  Chad happened to be wearing his favorite “make a statement” T-shirt and the officer wanted to know where he got it.  He had to have one! Chad had his e-mail address so I sent the officer an e-mail this morning with a link to where I ordered the shirt.  I wonder what the officer would’ve thought if Chad had been wearing this shirt!  He should thank me for “losing” that shirt, don’t you think?

So . . I have the entire day to myself.  I will add borders to the monster quilt, fold it and get it out of my sight.  Then, I will clean off my cutting table and start the next project.



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    Chad is cute even when he is trying to pout! Isn’t it fun being parents!!! I don’t know if the time ever comes when you stop being the mom. I think we will always worry about and want what is best for our children no matter how grown up they think they are.

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    pdudgeon says

    spending time with Vince on these searches will be good for both of them. Sounds like Vince is an expert at doing in-depth searches which is a good thing for Chad to learn. this also takes a load off your shoulders at a time when you need every spare minute you can get.

    reminds me of the times long ago when the men would go off hunting (for a college in this case) and the women would keep the home fires burning. the more things change the more they stay the same.

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    Betty J in OKC says

    As a former victim of domestic abuse, I had to have my MIL go with me to the county courthouse to file a VPO (Victim’s Protective Order) against my DH, at the time. I’m still deeply greatful that she did that, since I was able to move away from him and get my divorce. I moved out on Christmas Eve and my MIL helped by driving her pickup truck TWICE from the small-town we lived in to my new apt in the city. I was blessed that I was able to take ALL my 5 cats with me to my apt.

    Please tell Chad that he did the bravest thing he could with his friend. His courage helped her, so she could talk to the police about the situation. If her BF needs to go to jail, the police will help with that. Let your son know that he will be deeply blessed for going with his friend. Talking to officials about personal domestic abuse isn’t for chickens.

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    Deb Worley says

    When I was reading about Chad’s shirt disappearing I had to laugh at loud. I had a shirt one time disappear. I was 17 and had gone to a Jimmy Buffett concert and we made shirts from one of his songs. I paid a fortune for it because it was by the letter printed. It went in the wash one time and I never saw it again. It t ook me a long time to figure out what happened. I am 47 years old and I lived through the experience and didn’t turn out worse for the wear. Chad will look back and laugh one day too….as he is doing it to one of his kids. You sound like a great Mom. Stay tough!!!!!

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    Jackie says

    Oh, the joys of parenting! Sounds like this will be a good bonding experience for the both of them. It is hard to let them go but do you really want Chad living with you till he is 50? Chad will look back to this time and thank-you for the great parents that you are maybe not say those exact words and it may still be a few years from now but the day will come.

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    Great award. Soccer is so undervalued in America. I went to my first pro soccer game in Columbus Ohio-it was a lot of fun. Soccer was not around where I grew up, but, it’s nice to see it’s everywhere now.

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    Nancy says

    Judy, I say the same thing about my son! He just turned 27 last weekend, and I keep telling him that my birthday doesn’t bother me as much as HIS! I’m too young to have a 27-year old son!!! 🙂