Cheese with that Whine?

So, most days my life is perfect . . fairy tale perfect.  Today wasn’t one of those days.  Don’t feel bad for me (like anyone would!) . . I’m just venting.  Tomorrow is a new day and it has to be better.  And, when there are several not so perfect things that are going to happen, might as well have them happen all in one day and just get it over with, right?  And, what better day than a Monday to have it all happen.  Well, I’ll declare . . I feel better already! 🙂

First, my husband is home for two weeks.  Week #1 was last week; week #2 is this week.  He really needs a hobby!  Something he can do outside, preferably across town . . rain or shine; snow or heatwave.  Get my drift?

Second, my dear son turned 21 on December 12.  My dear son is and has been a full time student for as long as I can remember . . since he was 5 years old I guess!  As with most insurance companies, to keep the dependents on health insurance, you have to prove from time to time that they are a full time student, especially when they turn 21.  With our health insurance, they send out a nice little reminder 30 days before the dependent turns 21 and ask you to provide proof that the dependent is a full time student or the health insurance for said dependent will terminate at midnight on the 21st birthday!  Said email went to husband.  Husband started the process but got sidetracked and didn’t finish procedure.  Wife asked husband at some point . . do we need to do anything to be sure Chad’s health insurance is in effect? We’ve had to provide proof that he’s a full time student before.  Nope, done! Lo and behold . . on December 23, the mail man delivered the forms for us to put Chad on COBRA should we choose to do so because his health insurance was terminated at midnight on December 12.  What the HE**??  You wouldn’t have wanted to be at our house that night!  As you might imagine, those are the kinds of things that send me over the edge.  And, everything was closed on Wednesday, on Thursday, on Friday, on Saturday, on Sunday.  Let’s just say it has been a difficult few days around here.  I wasn’t happy with Vince; Chad was locked in his room so he didn’t injure himself or acquire some expensive to treat disease. We were supposed to meet my friend and her husband in Kansas City today for lunch but no way were we going anywhere.  Vince spent most of the day trying to resolve the insurance issue.  They wanted proof . . a letter from the college that said the exact words they require the college to say.  That can’t happen!  The college is closed til January 5.  We cannot go til January 5 without health insurance.  Chad really wants to leave his room!  Somehow, Vince convinced the insurance people that Chad’s schedule of classes for next semester might be indication enough that he is planning to attend school full time.  About 3:30 p.m. they confirmed that Chad is again insured.  He left his room.  Seriously, he did not spend a week in his room but we did ask him not to go hunting or tromping through the woods til we got this resolved.

Chad had a stressful day because he was supposed to work til 2; and the funeral for his friends was at 1:30.  He asked to take off at 1:00 and that was fine but then he realized . . hey,  I can’t get home from work, shower, change and get to the funeral in 30 minutes.  I know he was on pins and needles all morning about that because attending a double funeral for two friends is bad enough but Chad stresses a lot about things like being late!  He made it with time to spare . . though he didn’t shower but only changed clothes but don’t tell anyone I told you because he would be really upset with me for sharing this info.  It was tough to see Chad upset and at 21, he doesn’t sit and share a lot of his thoughts with me. There’s a fine line between being here available to talk and listen and . . prying and asking too many questions.  So, I try to spend some time with him and he talks a little but not much.

That might seem like enough for one day but no . . there’s more.  Remember my little setup downstairs that works so well for me?  Here it is again:

No more . . this is the new setup.  Q-U-A-L-I-T-Y time together he says!  Exactly what I wanted/needed . . especially today!

Think that’s enough for one day?  Wrong again!  I spent the day working on one of my special little projects.  I worked so hard to line up a polka dot stripe border.  Didn’t like it at all.  Kept thinking . . I don’t like it!  Finally, I just took it off.  Like a whole afternoon’s worth of work down the drain.  This is one of those times when it seemed to work so nicely in my head but didn’t work nearly so well in real life.

Things are never as bad as they seem though.  Chad has insurance again; two families in our little town are hurting from losing their children and I have my son here . . safe and secure (and insured), Vince won’t like coming downstairs to watch TV so he will do it a few times and then stop coming down here; ugly borders are just fabric and who cares about fabric?  At least I took it off before quilting the top and then deciding they didn’t work.

Tomorrow’s a new day and I am ready for it! 🙂


  1. 1


    You are very wise to keep Chad in his room until the insurance thing was resolved. My hubby, who was never sick in our 30 years of marriage, decided to get pancreatitis last October (2007). He is still recovering and has spent many months in the hospital. So far the bills are around $2,000,000!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Thank goodness for good health insurance!

  2. 2

    quilterbee says

    You’ve had the run of things happening at your house. Hopefully, in the New Year things will quit breaking.

    Please tell, Chad, I’m sorry for the loss of his friends. I must have missed that post.

    You’re basil looks great.


  3. 3


    So sorry to hear about Chad’s friends. We lived through a couple of those very sad moments as well with James.
    Cobra is currently costing over $500. a month. James is looking for affordable insurance and pays most of it right now but we try to help a little. He needs to find a job with a good insurance plan…yeah…like that’s going to happen anytime soon.
    Hope your day is a better one

  4. 4


    You have had your hands full the past couple of days haven’t you. I think it should be against the law for hubbies to have two weeks off. That is way to much time for them to be under our feet…re-arranging our stuff….needing us to do things for them…getting in the way…asking questions about why we need this or why we do it that way.
    So sorry that Chad is going through such a hard time. It’s times like these we just want to grab onto our kids with both hands and count our blessings.
    Hang in there!!

  5. 5


    Judy, I’m very sorry to hear about Chad’s friends, how awful to lose one’s life at such a young age.

    Perhaps you need to “give” Vince a hobby… need anything built or repaired? 🙂

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    Christine West says

    Some times you can’t live with them and can’t hide the bodies.

    My sewing room also has the computers and ham radio gear in it. (The radio gear is mine, not his) so hubby spends a good amount of time with me. The only drawback I have is his complaining when I turn on the overhead light so I can see what I’m cutting/marking. The sewing/quilting/embroidery thing is lost on him. However he was fascinated when I made a wallet with a vinyl ID pocket.

  7. 7

    Ida says

    My son started a new job yesterday. The offer letter had insurance included. That plan is being done away with … and, even tho we (adults) all said to get the insurance, and then FIGHT because the offer letter said insurance, they have to insure you .. they can’t just drop you ….. of course, he didn’t sign up, because he’s 20 and he knows everything. (Actually, because he’s afraid to make waves just starting in a new job … even though some higher-level management already loves him and would fight for him …. because he’s helping them out in their Boy Scout Troop.)

    So, he has until April 1 w/out insurance. Am I sweating it? Noooo … he’s been w/out insurance since the end of July when he left the Navy. [I lie! Of course I’ve been sweating it! He’s a clutz! But, at least now he’s only playing with computers, and not knives like he was in the Navy. Of course, now he’s DRIVING to/from work …. in the snow … in New Hampshire …. on a license he got in September … ugh! ]

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    Donna (in MI) says

    I hear you about the two weeks off. We also started week 2. Last week we had the kids here, this week is just us! I can’t complain though since he travels so much.

    My husband also needed a hobby. First, I tried to get him interested in bridge. Mistake…that requires a partner, Guess who was needed? Me! Then I encouraged him to take up golf. We had a winner there. Unfortunately, in Michigan he can’t play golf in the winter. But it does keep him occupied in the warmer months.

    Here is hoping that today is a better day.

  9. 9


    I’m sorry to hear about Chad’s friends!

    I get upset about a lot of things and regularly ask for cheese with my whine, although not in those terms, on my blog. Writing about things, taking stock in my situation and all the good things in my life, and having a husband who is quick to remind me that it could be worse usually helps me move on.

    I can’t say I ever forget, though.

  10. 10


    I’m glad things are turning around for you, and I’m so very sorry about Chad’s friends – that’s a tough one 🙁

    If you find a hobby for Vince, please sign up my husband as well – he can commute! I only had him home for FIVE days and I was ready to kill him. His hobby is puttering around the house driving me batty. He washed the laundry room floor … by taking everything out of the room, then mopping it with a small sponge … on his hands and knees. He even LAID ON THE FLOOR to wash under the laundry tub. I don’t even sweep under there, pFFT!!! I’m very glad that he’s back at work – I don’t want to THINK about what’s going to happen when he retires in 14 years. It’s gonna get UGLEEEE!!

  11. 11


    Four years into retirement, and we are still adjusting to each other. I didn’t realize how much I LOVE being home alone, queen of the castle/parlor maid, all day. Now it’s a rare occurence, and I savor every minute. No hubby hobby here either. But he does clean up the kitchen and vacuum, so he does have his redeeming qualities! He’s a keeper, but I too enjoy a little whine from time to time. Usually not this early in the day though!

  12. 12

    Evelyn says

    Keeping DH busy is tops on my list – I always try to buy some kind of business to keep him occupied where I can deduct the expenses. Let’s see… we’ve done cleaning, home management, real estate office, real estate investing, laminating business, landscaping (that would explain the Kabota tractor), cottages, inn and restaurant. Phew! Now if I could just think of a business that would keep DH busy AND make some money – that would be a big plus, LOL! Sorry about Chad’s friends – that is a tough one. At least Wal-Mart let him off early. I’ve heard that many Wal-Marts across the country are in a hiring freeze – so it is good that Wal-Mart is working around his school schedule too! And – I know all about insurance hassles – 1X my company cancelled both my son and myself because I never received some sort of form they they swear up and down they sent, yeah right. It was my pharmacist that told me that I had been cancelled when I was filling SB’s monthly vitamin RX. No-one wants to get sick, but at least it is a bit more re-assuring to know you have coverage.
    Cheers! – Evelyn

  13. 13


    Hugs to Chad–loss of people you care about is one of life’s most painful things to endure.

    Major Hugs to you Judy! My DH came home yesterday morning after a week off telling me he is off for who knows how long!!! I wanted to call his boss of 25 years and explain to him about Judy Time. He obviously doesn’t know about that or he would not have layed him off!

    Judy Time starts at 6 am and ends at 5 pm, Monday thru Friday. I like Judy Time, I need Judy Time. What are we to do???

  14. 14

    carol fun says

    Yep, some Monday are just a pain in the butt. So sorry to hear about the loss of Chad’s friends. This is always a difficult experience for those so young. At 21 no one thinks about the inevitable and then it happens.

    As for husbands who take 2 weeks off and have no hobbies — I agree with Dawn there should be a law prohibiting this. Mine too is off till Jan 5 and I’m going nuts!! I tried to assemble a list of things to keep him busy but he’s ignored it in favor of other activities which don’t really need to be done. I know why “older” women work at Walmart and McDonalds- it is to escape some little old man at home who has nothing to do but drive them crazy!!!

    Hang in there — Jan 5 is coming ( but not soon enough)

    carol fun

  15. 15

    Marla says

    Try being married for over 3 years and your husband only working a total of a little over a year of that time altogether. Not fun! Very stressful on the marriage. I could not tell you the last time I had the house to myself more than an hour or two at a time. Good thing I love him otherwise…..Hang in there!

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    Wow, sorry you had such a bad day, but glad everything worked out.
    About husbands being home………….mine has taken to following me around & watching what I’m doing………..drives me nuts………..he retires in 5 yrs. if he doesn’t get laid off first. God, I’ll have to find a full-time job to keep my sanity!! Or I might spend my old age in the state pen for murder, or at least attempted. Every year for Christmas I spend quite a few of my hard earned bucks to buy him a hunting & fishing permit……the gift that keeps on giving, I call it…..keeps him out of the house quite a bit. Does Vince have any interest in hunting & fishing? Could he develop some?

    (Somehow I first posted this to your previous entry…don’t how I managed that…maybe your bad day yesterday is carrying over to mine today. Couldn’t figure out how to remove that first comment either…maybe there isn’t a way….who knows. Just call this a do-over.)

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    Gwen says

    I’m sorry for the loss of Chad’s friends. It is so difficult to have to watch your child come to grips with the death of someone their own age. Unfortunately it happens to so many of us in the high school and college years. Hope you make it through the next few days with Vince. Even though DH reads, does wood working, and has the cows at the farm, he seems to need a lot of my attention since he retired! I’m not getting nearly enough time in my sewing room! Good luck!

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    If you find a hobby for Vince would you please let me know because my husband needs one too. Something that will fit in between the couple of weeks deer hunting in the fall and couple of weeks fishing in the spring. When we were young he used to spend weeks and weeks at the deer camp and I’d get mad because I wanted him to want to be home with me. Now that we’re older he keeps coming home before he’s supposed to and I get mad because I have too much to do for him to come home! My mother-in-law used to tell me that would happen but I didn’t believe her. Such is life. blessings, marlene

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    Bobbie says

    Oh Judy–just wait until he retires-God help you then. DH has been retired about 3 years now and I am a screaming ninny. He was a iron worker-construction work-and a horse shoer-and a ranch manager–but now–he’s right here, by my side. I went to the quilt store today and thought for sure he was going to go with me-then there is grocery shopping-and he wonders why I don’t cook “this” “that way” or add “this to it!!!! ENJOY THE TIME YOU HAVE LEFT!! I would give my eye teeth to make a trip to Wal Mart by nyself.

  20. 21

    Linda says

    my hubby has been on vacation for nearly 3 weeks….AACCCCKKKK!!! I think I may have to kill him before he retires! I feel your pain! Thank goodness he goes back to work on Saturday!

  21. 22

    Anna says

    My condolences to Chad- I have a son the same age and it is so hard for them to come to terms with loss and as a parent to watch them hurt too. I agree with you about struggling to find a balance about asking them questions and giving them their personal space.

    Hope that you have had a better day today.
    All the best in 2009,

  22. 23


    I feel your pain!!! My hubby is basicily on vacation for the winter months. So a few years back………..I put him in charge of the cooking, and shopping for that cooking. he’s actually very good at it now, not at first though. But it helps keep him occupied during the day. Come March though he’s ready to give it up. I’m sure your new year will go much better. Everyone will be back to work or school and you’ll have your days back.

    Karen L