The Wicked Witch of MO

Somewhere in the recesses of my memory, I am so sure I can recall a time when weekends were restful, peaceful, relaxing. There might have been time for quilting, or knitting, or reading, but those days are gone!

This weekend was crazy and hectic . . up before daylight Saturday and Sunday; on the road Saturday, busy with chores on Sunday.

Saturday night late I was emailing back and forth with a local friend who also has chickens and we got on the subject of what a huge threat raccoons are to our chickens.  She sent me a bunch of links.  I had been asking Vince to put a more secure lock on the egg door.  Sunday morning when he got up, I showed him some of the info I’d read about raccoons.


You may not be able to see in this picture but there was a single screen door type hook in the center of the egg door.  The black thing on the light purple is a little swing out thing where I can  hang my basket when I’m collecting eggs.  By the way, we got four eggs on Saturday and three eggs today.  We had been getting 2 a day.  We’ve gotten 19 eggs so far!

Anyway,Vince added two big slide type locks to the ends of the egg door so I think we’ve outsmarted the raccoons for now.  I believe that’s the only place they could get to the chickens and we’ve solved that . . everything is perfect now.

Tonight I grilled steaks.  Had the food on the table.  Vince and Chad were sitting down to eat, I was getting the last minute stuff done.  Vince calmly said “there are dogs out there!”  We live in the city.  Dogs cannot be running loose in the city.  But, there are two dogs out there giving my chickens hell!  Poor babies!  They were flying around, hitting the wire, in a huge panic!  I dropped everything and ran outside.  Vince and Chad continued to eat!  Darned men!

I went flying out the back door . . screaming at the dogs.  One of them ran off.  One kept running circles around the chicken run.  All I could think of was . . there was so much broken glass around the tree line and I had no shoes on! Oh well, I got a tetanus shot last week so . . who cares!  Finally chased the dog off and decided I was going to follow him and if I found where those dogs lived, the owners were going to hear from me!  Apparently someone had already called the police and in our sleepy little town, they were right there, driving real slowly looking for the dogs.  I flagged one of them down and showed him the house where the dogs ran.  Then I had to walk a block back home . . still barefooted!  When I got home, I realized I was wearing this shirt!  Not only that but I’d already had my shower and had on no makeup and . . of course, no shoes!


Vince and Chad were still eating . . like nothing had happened.  Vince calmly said “Where did you go and what did you do?”  I told him that I stopped a policeman and showed him where the dogs had gone.  Vince started laughing and said “The policeman probably knocked on their door and said ‘you’d better be glad it’s the police and not the Wicked Witch!”

Wicked Witch t-shirt or not, I’d better not see those dogs (or any others) in my yard again!



  1. 1


    When I was a kid, I had a pet raccoon. We had to keep adding locks/fasteners to her cage because until we had five different ones on there, she always managed to figure them out–She’d then climb up in the elm trees and chatter at us–and return to her cage at mealtime.–All this to suggest that raccoons are smart and talented and can figure out locks–maybe not during the day when someone is close enough to watch, but what happens if they work at it all night?

    (I think I might be able to find a use for Wicked Witch t-shirt–school starts next week–hmmmmmm.

  2. 2


    ROFLOL!!! That is SO funny!

    I’m afraid those dogs might be back, Judy, now that they’ve got the scent. Do you have a baseball bat you can leave by the back door? I wouldn’t recommend trying to chase them away unless you’re armed. Be careful, Miss WW!

    • 2.2


      A shotgun might be more efficient. What do you suppose the fine is for discharging a firearm in the city limits?? I’ve been wondering about that since my neighbors from hell & their barking pit bulls moved in.

  3. 4


    I’d tell Vince to keep working on the lock problem, he’ll need to stay one step ahead!

    A racoon bent up the heavy wire mesh that covered our crawlspace entrance. Scared the heck out of us, well out of a sound sleep!

  4. 6


    I think I need a shirt like that. My neighbors probably think of me as the Wicked Witch of Nebraska because I plainly stated in front of a Co. Deputy no less that I did not like their continually barking pit bulls less than a hundred yards from my house and I wanted them GONE. As well as the ones a few houses down. What is it with people and their insistence on keeping dangerous dogs that intimdate people & alienate the whole neighborhood with their noise? Give me coons any day.

  5. 7

    pdudgeon says

    what…you didn’t send Speck the Defender after those dogs?
    I’m sure he would have made mincemeat of any dogs on his territory.

    hope the police found those loose dogs.

  6. 8


    That shirt is AWESOME!!! and I want one.

    You need a wrist rocket/sling shot and some nice size rocks. Then set up a target and practice. I don’t know about your city but I don’t know why a sling shot would be illegal. And besides, it’s fun. Cured the neighbor dog from pooping in my yard. Just don’t use it on your men. 🙂

  7. 9

    Cynthia says

    Judy, this is why your blog is the first thing I read when I log on the internet. Thanks for the laugh. Again. I love how you can laugh at yourself and be so honest about your feelings. And gosh, you are such a wonderful writer.

    Take care,

  8. 10


    I like the slingshot with rocks idea better than the shotgun. It would be safer around your chicks.

    Too bad the t-shirt doesn’t scare the dogs away!

  9. 12


    LOL Judy. I’m wearing my “Girls Night Out” t-shirt today. It’s from Salem, MA and has a bunch of witches standing around a cauldron while several fly around on broomsticks. Must have been the day for wicked witch shirts!

  10. 13


    LOL, that would be my house as well, nothing gets in the way of dinner, and the shirt, I need one of those, teeheeeee…. I needed a chuckle, if you have Fox and skunks they are also hell on chickens and their eggs…..

  11. 14

    Evelyn says

    When I was younger, neighborhood dogs killed my dear, sweet Nubian goat and I was so sad. Her sister was hurt and would have survived, but she also died – the vet said from a broken heart. I would say the dogs may be more of a pest than racoons. For the racoons – you might want to consider a combination padlock – and just write the combination on the side of the coop. We used to have a horse who could open just about any lock to get into her grain – always getting us kids in trouble because Mom couldn’t believe the horse could do that! But, one morning Mom caught her in the act and after that the grain was padlocked – that did the trick!

  12. 15

    Bessie H says

    A spray bottle that will shoot a long straight stream filled with ammonia and shot in their face will stop them. It won’t permanently hurt them but they will avoid your yard. We live in the country and have to travel on the road to get from one field to another to check on our cows. We have a Kabota RTV and the neighbors dogs would run out and act like they were going to eat us up nipping at our tires and scaring the heck out of the grandkids. I finally thought to get me a spray bottle and after one good spray the dogs just stand in their yards and look at us. If I look them in the eye they actually back up.
    I still keep the bottle with me just in case.

  13. 16


    Hey…too bad if they think you really ARE the wicked witch… did what HAD to be done!!! (Our weekend was not relaxing, either, if it makes you feel better…a tree came down on our roof….story on my blog Saturday and Sunday.)

  14. 17

    Lynda Green says

    Judy – I need to borrow your shirt. It would have completed the picture of me (all of 5’1″) standing in the driveway in t-shirt and exercise pants, waving a fly swatter at guys from a tree company who decided to turn around in my driveways with their big trucks and attached tree eating equipment – spooking horses and creating yappier Jack Russells.

  15. 18


    By the end of the post I was humming the music that goes along with the flying monkeys and wicked witch…dang now I have that tune in my head…maybe I’ll use it to my benefit and hum it while I vacuum.

  16. 19

    Cindy says

    I wish you had grabbed the broom to beat off the dogs. That would have been a picture!

  17. 20


    I hate people that don’t keep their pets in their own yards…..sorry for your poor birds….they must have been frightened…..

  18. 21


    It was a hilarious tale but I hope you don’t have to deal with dogs in your yard anymore. The chickens would have been so scared – poor things.

  19. 22


    That is the funniest thing I have read in awhile. Thanks so much for sharing your life..and chickens. I hope your sleepy town does not have foxes. They can be a menace too.
    I love the way you share your quilt ideas/patterns too. Your blog has become a must read daily.

  20. 23


    You have the best t shirts……….. I am still laughing over the Cow shirt and now this one……………..
    Never a dull moment with you.

  21. 24

    Maxi in CCA says

    I read your “chicken” notes with great interest. Our daughter has about 40 chickens and she gets about three dozen eggs a day, most of them are the Auracana (green eggs); the rest are brown eggs.

    We are in a remote area and my husband bought a paint ball gun for her. He also has one and uses it for raccoons, cyotes, wildcats, and once we even had a black bear in our backyard. That gun runs off everything! You might consider getting one.

  22. 25


    Okay, so this is kinda crazy, but do you climb onto the roof to collect the eggs? Or is there a place to collect the eggs below the hook where you hang your basket?

  23. 26


    LOL!! You do have some adventures, Miss Witch! Would love to have seen that scene. Love that shirt, and I can just see you flying down the road chasing the dogs. I agree with Vicky, get a stick or a sawed off big dowel stick, that would work well too.

  24. 27


    Okay, I see it now……….you raise the purple “roof” to get the eggs. I think there should be a picture of you with your Wicked Witch shirt getting the eggs!
    Last night I just had this image of you ON that purple roof collecting eggs. Silly me!