He’s Leaving Again

Dang, I hate it when Chad leaves.  I remember when he left for his first day of school in his senior year of high school and I cried and cried.  I called my mom and I was boo-hooing and told her “That’s the last time he leaves for his first day of a new school year!”   She probably laughed at me.  Today he’s leaving for the last time he leaves for a new semester.  Even though I’m thrilled that he will be graduating, that means that the next time he leaves, it could be for good!  He could be getting a job and leaving home more permanently.  I am not liking this at all!  I do hope he gets a job . . if that’s what he wants.  He’s talking about grad school so we don’t really know what he’ll do after this semester but in any event, my time of having my boy at home is drawing to an end way too quickly.  I’m thrilled with the young man he’s become.  I’m thrilled that he’s making something of his life and that he hasn’t gotten into trouble and caused us any much trouble but . . well . . I miss him already and he just left!  Moms, you know what I’m going through.  You all know I’ll be fine.  The tears will stop.  I can use the downstairs bathroom again.  I can quilt early in the morning but . . tomorrow morning this house will seem unbearably empty.

I think of the family in Tucson who lost their 9 year old daughter last week and I want to kick my rear for crying that Chad’s leaving to go back to school . . just 50 miles away and will be home on the weekends.  My head knows everything is good but my heart isn’t so sure.

So . . we had our last dinner together til Friday.

I fixed the Butter Chicken that he requested.   It was good.  Not too spicy but somewhat spicy.   The jar of Butter Chicken sauce that Chad had bought was probably equally as good, just a bit different, though it did cost quite a bit more than the homemade version. I had already made Black Bean & Corn Salad when he asked for Spinach Salad so we had two salads tonight.  I asked if he wanted white bread or wheat bread to take back to school and he wanted crusty bread from the Artisan Bread book so I made that for dinner and made a loaf to send back with him.

Friday will be here before I know it . . right?


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    Oh, Judy I’ve had that “empty nest” so sad feeling w/ all 3 of my kids. I even remember when #3 went to school & I didn’t even have anyone (especially her) to eat lunch with during the wk ~ a crying sad day, my heart was broken!! But now my grandchildren fill that void~ love how life happily continues on!!

  2. 3


    It doesn’t make it any less traumatic but a 180 degree turnaround in how you look at it may make you (eventually) feel better about the departures.

    It is not an end, it is a beginning.

    The beginning of a different and exciting phase in the grand adventure of life.

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    I *so* know what you are going through Judy! My son left for spring semester last Tuesday morning. School started Wednesday. Although my son is only in his second year at university, I feel really EMPTY when he is gone! One of his friends even came over last night and said he was going through ”J” withdrawls with him gone! I know what he means! I kinda hope mine graduates and still stays at home for a couple years after that – so he can save up to buy a house at least 🙂

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    Chris says

    My son went off to basic training for the Air Force Guard. He was gone for 3 months and hardly any phone calls home. He wrote, but not the same. He had two small children at the time and it was really hard on them. The Empty Nesters around me say it never gets any easier even when they do leave home and then are gone for work, vacation of other obligations. I still want to hear his voice everyday. He is a firefighter and now I worry about that. They will always be your babies and we will always be the Mother.

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    Sandy says

    I can totally relate, Judy. Our daughter went to college 50 miles from us and on the day we took her to move into her dorm, I was crying before we left the city limits,lol. The time goes by so quickly when we have them at home and one day they are grown and gone. You will like the next phase of your life too. It will take a little adjusting but then they get married, and GRANDCHILDREN. Oh Judy, you will be a terrific mother in law and grandma.

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    Judy, I can’t relate yet, but I sometimes stop to think what it will be like when my kiddos grow up and leave.

    Since we homeschool, we spend SO much time together, I can imagine that it will be hard.

    Just remember…all your online friends are here to hold your hand through it all!

  7. 8


    Mommy, I’ll just tell you what I overheard Dad saying one day while he was talking to a neighbor. “Kids are like bad pennies. They keep showing up.”


  8. 10


    Elder daughter just left with her “young man” (which is what the old ladies at church call him – I prefer that to “boyfriend”) for the 2nd semester, too. Bittersweet, because we really got along pretty well this past month. The month-long semester break usually is about 2 weeks too long for us. Not this time.

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    I know exactly how you feel!! My sweet sweet darling daughter is in her 2nd year of college. It hurts me physically everytime she leaves!!

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    I know what you are going through and we survive! My son is in his second year of college and also 50 miles away and comes home on weekends. I wasn’t traumatized with him leaving as he comes home so much, but it was terrifying leaving my daughter in Atlanta this summer for grad school. That is clear across the country! My oldest daughter is now married and in another state, but at least within a day’s drive.

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    Oh Judy, it is so hard to let them go sometimes. My youngest just started college last fall, and even though he is living at home, I know this will be the beginning of his leaving. Sigh………. It’s hard being a mom.

  12. 15


    Hugs, Judy. It’s hard. My kids are grown, and have kids of their own, but I still cry after they have been here for a visit, and they are packed in the car and driving away–the house just seems so empty. It takes us a while to “adjust”. I’m sorry to say, but this feeling never fully goes away, no matter how old they get. Just enjoy all your times together.

  13. 16


    I know all about it too…my youngest son is in he senior year and every year I tried to get pictures of all the boys’ first days of school(many of which are the backs of their heads or blurry sneak shots or their hands covering their faces)…I posted about his “last first day of school”. It’s just three of us here, when it used to be six! But they still come back for supper like most of them did tonight…my DIL and son fried up some deer sirloin.

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    Valarie says

    my 3 sons have been gone for almost 6 years, all three went to college (different school), I have 2 grandsons sons now and 2 wonderful daughters-in-law now. They live and work out of state and come home as often as possible (but not enough). I cry everytime they leave and every time I leave after visiting them. Having grand children made it worse…..more to miss! And it breaks my heart to hear my 3 yr old grandson say “please don’t leave Nanna I want you to stay and watch me while mommy & daddy work” BUT…..I really enjoy my empty nest…after I get over the tears!

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    We drive my daughter back to college on Saturday for her last semester. Her college is 3 hours away and she is hoping to find an internship in that area for next year and attend graduate school in 2012. She hates to drive so she wants to work where she can take public transportation and walk to town and stores. We live in the middle of nowhere so that doesn’t quite work.

    My son is still living at home, but is planning on marrying his college sweetheart as soon as they can get some money saved. The idea of him leaving home doesn’t weigh on my heart nearly as much as having my daughter so far away.

  16. 20

    Carol Radcliffe says

    I finished another binding on one quilt and pieced three borders on another quilt. Yeah!

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    Laura says

    Oh Judy, thanks a lot! I had finally dried my tears and now they are flowing again! I have a son at Purdue who will graduate in May and I just sent him back last week. Plus, my youngest is graduating from high school and today will be my very last parent-teacher conference! I don’t know if I can handle all this! I guess all we can do is concentrate on the exciting times ahead, jobs, marriage, grandchildren….there is more to come!

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    lw says

    The hardest years of my life were trying to adjust to having my daughters move out, so I understand what you’re going through. I remember my mother going through this, too, as we grew up and moved out– and then my sister had her two children and needed day care, and Mom was happy again.

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    We just put our youngest on the plane yesterday for a semester abroad. Boo Hoo. When we got home, we had an email from our oldest (also a college student) saying she is spending this semester in China student teaching. How does this happen??? When I gave them wings, I only expected them to circle the nest, not fly away. But how can I not be happy when they are experiencing such wonderful things.

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    Wendy N. says

    My son is leaving on the train tonight to go back to Chicago. I’m sad. He graduated at semester and still has an apartment there with friends. He’s off to start his new life. I’m sad but happy for him. I know how you feel!