My son and I usually get along quite well. He’s 23-1/2, he’s lived in the dorm with no rules, he’s graduated from college and hasn’t found a full time job, though he’s had the same part-time job for about 4 years, and he’s still living at home! He understands that he either has to move with us, which he says he isn’t doing, either find a way to live working part-time or get a full-time job and earn enough to support himself (anyone know of a job that pays about $500K for a fresh out of college graduate with a degree in political science?), or he has to learn to live like the rest of us who know there’s a limit to how much we can spend and try to keep a bit of money set aside for a rainy day but . . so much for the discussion Chad and I have three times a day!
I never go anywhere that I don’t glance at my tires. I don’t go out and kick them and check the air with a gauge but I just glance at them as I walk by the car and make sure they’re ok. Chad, even with his tire history, never ever looks at his tires. Last night about 11:00 I walked out to put something in the trash and his front right tire was almost flat. He hadn’t been in long from a trip to the lake. I said “Chad, wherever you’re going in the morning, don’t wait til the last minute because your tire may be flat.” He went out and tried to fill it with air but the air compressor wasn’t holding pressure so he went down to the store and filled the tire with air and when he got home, you could hear it hissing and losing air. By then it was 11:30 and he decided to change the tire! It was still hotter than heck outside, he was under the truck banging around trying to get the spare off. Of course it was dark! He decided he didn’t have all the “things” he needed to change a tire, couldn’t get the lug nuts off and I don’t know what else. I’m thinking . . you’ve had that truck 10 months and you’re just now checking to see if you have all the tools needed to change a tire? but that was not the time for a lecture. I tried explaining to him that he should bring the truck into the garage and hope that it would still have enough air in the morning (it does) that he could drive it to Wal-Mart to get them to fix the tire, then he could figure out if he has all the tools needed to change a tire but midnight was not the time to be messing with it since he doesn’t have to be at work today til about noon. He wasn’t happy with me but I understand he was aggravated with the leaking tire and it made much more sense to him to yell at me instead of yelling a tire. Even if the tire was completely flat this morning, it would have been better to change the tire in the daylight when it was cooler! NOT what he wanted to do!
It’s hard living with an adult kid who’s been on his own (as in having no rules) — even if it was a dorm and mom was still paying the bills. It’s just as hard for a mom to deal with the attitude, knowing we’re all having to suck it up a bit and get through rough spots. In the end . . Vince and I will find a house and get moved and this time next year, all that we’re going through will be no big deal, hardly even remembered. In an hour or so, Chad will have his tire fixed . . so there’s no reason to argue and fuss when things go wrong. We all have issues to deal with and what we’re facing is small — very small — considering what some folks are going through.
Through the years I’ve learned that you can tell a whole lot about people by how they deal with issues. Some people fall apart over the smallest things. Yes, I get upset and angry over small things sometimes, and then I feel kind of small for allowing trivial matters to upset me and rob me of even a moment’s pleasure. I believe how we deal with life’s trials, the big ones and the small ones, shows a lot about us — about our maturity level, our faith, our outlook on life.
Flat tire on the pickup or not . . Vince comes home today for a long weekend so for the next few days, the stress of the move will be shared, the grass in the garden can be cut so the red tag guy will be happy with us and if I’m lucky, Chad will still be frustrated enough with me that he will go out and look for his own place to live! 🙂