They All Have Names

This morning I was corresponding with a blog reader and I mentioned how I’ve whined and complained about this move and then I think of folks like Vince’s parents who left Sicily when they were very young (teens) and they didn’t even know each other back then so it wasn’t like they were already a couple, but they left and came to the United States . . knowing no one and Vince’s dad didn’t even speak English.  I don’t think he ever went back to see his family.  Vince never knew his grandparents . . never saw them once!  This was way before the days of email and cell phones so I doubt his dad ever communicated with the family back in the home country.

So, I do feel like a wimp for complaining but . . I guess I’ll do it a bit more anyway.

I don’t remember how much I said about it but early on in this process, there was a house Vince came across that wasn’t on the market but was kinda for sale.  It was going through a divorce and the wife thought she had the whole settlement worked out where she was getting the house and she was going to sell it.  She and Vince worked out a price and we were all set.  The first court date got changed.  The second court date got changed.  Vince kept looking at other houses but he really wanted this one.  We gave names to a lot of the houses we considered.  There was the termite house (it had termites that had been treated and the damage fixed); there was the flip house (a house that had been purchased in terrible condition, the folks bought it to fix it and flip it); there was the Cadillac house (where there was a Cadillac in the garage that Vince wanted to buy but someone else had already bought the car); there’s the burn house (a house that burned all the way down and was re-built and is now for sale).  What’s kinda funny, is that four months later, all those houses are still for sale.  Only one has reduced the price and only by about $5,000.  Real estate here is outrageous and for the most part, takes forever to selll.  Don’t you think someone should figure out that if the prices were more in line with what’s happening with the rest of the nation, things might move a little?  And, three of the above houses are empty — no one living in them.

The house he wanted, we called the divorce house.

Vince was sure we were getting the divorce house and every day, I felt a little less certain it was going to happen.  To make a long story short, when they finally went to court, the wife did not get the house and the husband had no interest in selling the house.  That was about mid-July.

Yesterday we were ready to make our offer on the little house with 45 acres.  Vince was going to meet the folks at 3 to make the offer.  He ended up having a meeting so they emailed him the offer and he signed it, was going to bring it home for me to sign and drop it off this morning.  In the meantime, yesterday afternoon we got a call that the divorce house might be for sale.  Vince talked to the wife and it seemed real “iffy”.  No, the husband hasn’t said he wants to sell but she thinks he might want to sell.  I told Vince . . as far as I’m concerned, we’ve wasted enough time dealing with these folks and actually, their house is only about 200 square feet larger than the small house we’re trying to get, has 5 more acres and is farther from Vince’s work, and costs enough more that you’re paying for the extra land and square feet so it’s not like it’s a great deal either.

We talked about it and decided to go forward with the smaller house.  Right before we went to bed, Vince said “The divorce house seems more like a real house where the smaller house seems more like a weekend house.”  Ugh!  What on earth do you WANT to do, Vince?

The last thing I said before we went to bed — Forget it all!  I don’t want to buy a house Vince feels isn’t a “real” house.  Then he told me he was only buying it because I liked it.  I said “I like it . . I could live there . . I’m not saying it’s my dream house.  I don’t care if we get it or not!”

Then, after assuring me that if we buy a good bit of land (anything over 5 acres is a good bit to us), that either has a house on it or we build a house . . we’ll probably stay here forever, but then he said last night: “I’m not sure how easy it will be to sell if we have to sell it ourselves!”

WHAT?  I thought we were staying here forever!  I was so frustrated with everything.  If renting were an option, I’d just continue to rent.  It is not.  There are no good houses in this town for rent — especially that allow inside pets.  We have to be out of this house in February.  We almost HAVE to buy something.  I went to sleep and didn’t have much to say.

This morning we decided to go back to the little house and look at it one more time and see if we will feel cramped there.  We didn’t and we rode around the land again with the realtor.  It was a cool morning, a gentle, crisp breeze was blowing, we saw about a 20 pound jack rabbit go sailing through the air . . we thought it was a deer!  The land is gorgeous — really some of the prettiest we’ve seen.  There’s very little rock, hardly any cactus and you have to look to find a mesquite tree.  There are tons of oaks and red oaks, trails all through the land.

We made an offer!  I don’t know when we’ll hear back — I was hoping it would be today but Vince thinks it will be tomorrow.  We’re both really excited about the place.  The house is going to be fine and 45 acres is more than I’d ever dreamed we would have.  I’ll be sitting on pins and needles til we hear back.



  1. 1


    Wow, Vince is starting to sound like my husband; glad to hear that I am not a lone with ever changing hubbys.
    Have you thought that if you get this you can live in the small house and build your ‘dream’ home? Then you can use the small house as a guest house, or better yet sell it to Chad.

    • 1.1


      If money was no object, maybe! I don’t see Chad ever moving here. The house is really already a guest house. A whole ranch is for sale and they’ve divided the big house from the guest house and it’s the little guest house we’re trying to buy.

  2. 7

    Michelle F. says

    I sure hope everything works out Judy! I hope that you can get a workable plan going. I think that you have done really well with all the curveballs that you have been thrown. Here’s to a resolution soon!

  3. 8


    Sounds to me like the frustration is getting to both of you. Hopes and prayers continue for you both (and Spec) to find a house you will be happy with and you will be able to make your own.

  4. 9


    Good luck Judy!

    I completely understand how things must be with Vince. . . . my DH will say he wants to do something and then ask if I want to do it because, he says “it’s all about you”. . . . and then when I suggest something else he drops his idea like a hot potato. . . . which drives me nuts.

    I can’t wait to hear what happens with the “jack rabbit house”.

  5. 10


    Judy, I hope the offer is accepted. How small is the house? You’ve never mentioned the square footage, or the closets or room sizes. By today’s standards we live in a very small house, 1600 square, if that on 5 acres. When there is a lot of company and family gatherings, yes we have felt a bit cramped, but for just the two of us ( which is most of the time) it is very comfortable.

    • 10.1


      It’s about 1650 square feet and for just the two of us, there’s no reason that won’t be a comfortable house. It’s just so much smaller than what we’ve had but we went back and looked at it today before turning in our offer and we’re fine with it.

  6. 11

    Liz says

    If it is accepted, I hope you’ll give us a detailed tour of the new place and describe what changes you’ll make. Is it empty so you can start cleaning, painting, etc?

    How exciting…..we can hardly wait!

  7. 13

    pdudgeon says

    all this is because this is the first house for just the two of you, and you’re both still getting used to it being “just the two of you” for everything. that means a lot of not-so-obvious things are changing now from what you used to consider your “normal”, and they are things that you never realized would be included in this change.
    All the previous time that Chad spent away from home at school didn’t change the “normal” before, but now those things are changing. It just takes time to get used to being a couple again.

  8. 15


    We named the houses we considered here in PA… The Dr’s house, Disneyland, the Amish house, the plumbers house… And we bought the Stone House. Good luck!

  9. 16

    Teresa in Music City says

    Good luck Judy! You’ve had so much frustration over housing – I think it’s time for something to come together for you!!!! Watching & waiting with you…..

    • 17.1


      Oh, Marion! Go ahead and sleep. Nothing, and I mean NOTHING, ever keeps me from sleeping so there’s no use in you staying awake while I’m snoozing like a baby! 🙂

  10. 18

    Linda in NE says

    Fingers and toes crossed. Wouldn’t it be great to get it all over and done with? 45 acres is a nice amount of land but not an overwhelming amount.

    • 18.1


      I doubt even 3 acres of it is cleared and we’ll leave it that way so it won’t be a whole lot of extra work but we’ll have a nice buffer between us and any neighbors.

  11. 19


    oh, i sure hope this one works out! it sounds so nice! i would so much rather like to see you in the jack rabbit house rather than in the divorce house!

  12. 24

    Claudia Wade says

    Judy – I’ve told you before and I’m saying it again….I just sympathize so much with what you are going through. It is just amazing that real estate is such a struggle there. Like you said, you’d think people would get a clue that if they priced things in line with reality they could sell a house! Why is that so hard for them to understand? I hope something works out for you real soon. claudia w

  13. 25

    Diane in CA says

    Is it the house that is 7 miles out or the one that is 24 miles from Vince’s work? I am so confused, I don’t know which one to root for… 🙂

  14. 26


    It sounds like it’s really nice Judy. I liked the pictures you put up the other day. My house is only 1300 sq ft (a cottage, really), and has no closets, but I’m comfortable here. I would eventually like to add on a bit — just some closet space would be nice — but I’d like some dormers upstairs in the studio with perhaps some french doors out to a deck and down some stairs to the backyard. In my dreams, I guess.