My Husband, The Hypochondriac!

Without fail, when someone else has something wrong with them, Vince thinks he has it.  If someone at work has a sore throat or cold, within minutes of hearing about it, Vince is experiencing symptoms.  If anyone mentions a disease around Vince, within days, he’s sure he has the same thing.  Remember when our friend had a heart attack and it wasn’t long before Vince thought he was having a heart attack.  I just hope no one around him complains of menstrual cramps because he will have a hard time explaining that one but no doubt, within days, he’ll be suffering from menstrual cramps!

Recently a friend had shoulder surgery.  Today we were talking about how difficult his recovery has been.  Vince worked a lot around the house today. He came in tonight and said “My shoulder is hurting!”  I said . . Oh, My Goodness!  You’re just saying that because your friend had shoulder surgery.  Vince said “NO!  It’s even making a funny noise.  Listen!”  He raised his arm up and down and sure enough . . it was an awful, scratching/rubbing sound.  It was so gross.  I said “Yuck! Get away!”  We were putting clean sheets on the bed and every time he would move his shoulder, it would make that scratching sound.  It was horrible.  I asked him if it really hurts . . it sounded bad.  When did it start hurting?  He said “Yes!  It really hurts” He just noticed it making the sound about an hour earlier.  He had been working on getting my under the cabinet radio installed (which didn’t actually happen) and when he finished (gave up in defeat after drilling 8 holes in my cabinet . . and the radio still didn’t fit) is when he noticed his shoulder making the sound.

Later, he was getting ready to take his shower and when he took his shirt off, this is what he found (I had him put his shirt back on for the photo!):

The noise was a piece of painter’s tape stuck to his arm and every time he’d raise his arm up or down, his shirt would rub on the tape and make the sound . . resulting in the “shoulder pain”.

Never a dull moment around this house!


  1. 3


    Oh how funny, you made me spit soda out my nose! And yes, his shirt is on inside out too! What a guy, he sure keeps you hopping!!!

  2. 4


    Well, it’s good you didn’t put him in the car to make a ER visit. Imagine having to explain that noise to a doctor.

  3. 5

    Marilyn Smith says

    Mine was wine…thankfully not on the keyboard! This is too funny. And to think he was in pain. Have to say (excuse my French) but men can sure be weenies! Terrible patients when they are really sick. My DH ha had major back surgery. (and others too). He found it difficult to get out of bed to go to the bathroom. So, I suggested that he sleep on my side of the bed. He had to roll to get out. Success! When the Occupational therapist came by – he passed with flying colors.

    I have only had babies and arthroscopic surgery on my left knee. He was very good about taking care of me. I am lucky and have a man who can cook and wash dishes. Iron, change sheets etc. He can even clean house and he does all the floor mopping now that we are retired. He chose this tile and he can take care of it. I refuse.n I did not want it..too porous and not flat tile. Satillo. Much too much work in a kitchen.

    Men – I sure love him, but when he is sick it is another story. When I am just regular sick – flu, whatever….he still gets waited on hand and foot. But, he does certainly now do his share. Not the first 30 years we were married. He does have a gardner and a pool man. I do not have a housekeeper but would love one once a month or so. But as long as he helps – that is ok.

    Loved your story…spilled wine, laughed with tears in my eyes. Vince is a good sport!

  4. 7

    Sibyl Scott says

    When I first saw the picture of him, I thought he had some kind of patch for the pain/noise. When I clicked it—boy was I in for a surprise. He must keep you on your toes all the time. Just wait, it will only get worse.

    Have a good evening.

  5. 9

    Jane says

    Oh my josh……..that is so funny!!!! I laughed till I had tears. Never a dull moment. That picture of Vince is priceless.

  6. 11


    hahahaha! The funny thing is that there really is a term for the “noise” made by the joints… It’s called “crepitus.” I have it in my knees when I walk up our stairs. I’ve had it in my shoulders before, but it went away. Thankfully!

  7. 14

    Sherry says

    My daughter just came into my room to find out why I was laughing so hard out loud and she got a kick out of the story too. I loved his s**t eating grin and my daughter said he looks like such a nice guy. I assured her that he is a peach of a guy.

  8. 16

    Karen says

    Thanks for the laugh! Bob’s the same way only with poison ivy – just mention the words and he starts scratching.

  9. 19

    Diana in TX says

    Great story! I guess we need to have noiseless painter’s tape! He should suggest that! Not sure if you are out of the cedar pollen path or not. Cedar fever is coming and is usually here by now. Be prepared for that one!

  10. 20

    Jane says

    Oh my gosh……..that is so funny!!!! I laughed till I had tears. Never a dull moment. That picture of Vince is priceless.

  11. 25


    What a riot! At first I thought you were describing MY husband, lol! It seems it runs in men’s genes. I guess that’s why they need US so much 🙂 He looks like such a little boy in the pic with that look.

  12. 26


    What a riot! At first I thought you were describing MY husband, lol! It seems it runs in men’s genes. I guess that’s why they need US so much 🙂 He looks like such a little boy in the pic, with that look.

  13. 27


    What a riot! At first I thought you were describing MY husband, lol! It seems it runs in men’s genes. I guess that’s why they need US so much 🙂 He looks like such a little boy in the pic, with that look.

  14. 28

    Mary says

    I can relate, I’m a bit of a hypochondriac too although I keep my “illnesses” to myself most of the time.

  15. 31

    Dawn says

    that is too too funny! what a knucklehead………..My hubby would do something like that. play on my sympathy and then wham! THE TRUTH LOL you made my Friday morning
    Dawn in MA

  16. 33


    That is so funny — I love his grin in the photo — sorta like a little boy caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He’s such a good sport to let you entertain us with his stories!

  17. 34

    Cindy Bartz says

    Vince is a funny guy! I wish you lived closer, I bet there would be giggling all the time listening to your stories… I wonder what Speck thinks everytime something happens at your house?

  18. 36

    Toni in TN says

    I just checked the computer this morning only to find “another” Vince story. That is too funny.

  19. 37

    Becky I. says

    When you didn’t post yesterday I wondered if you were having a rough day. Then when I open your blog today and saw the post about vince at the top I thought I was right…too funny! Have a great day at the Laquidera Ranch.

  20. 40

    Bunny says

    I guess my hubby’s name must be “Vince” also, he has always managed to get every sickness that I have. Once he even got menstral cramps because I just said I had a stomach ache and next he had one. Gotta love them thought. Never a dull moment. Hope he felt better after the tape was surgically removed…….

  21. 41

    Michelle F. says

    Judy, I have been having a stressful week and this post made me laugh out loud. Thanks for all the wonderful posts in your blog but especially your Vince stories! (And pictures of him in green t-shirts smiling at the camera) I am also so glad that you are finally settled in your house. I know that you will be so happy with all that space and land for chickens and such. Thanks again for the good laugh.

  22. 42

    Miss Jamee says

    I love your blog! It is nice to see happy people, and you took a great pic of Vince this time, and missed his bald spot. 8)

  23. 46

    Carol says

    This is too funny. I read this yesterday at lunch and almost choked on my soup. I had to reread it this morning it so funny! And so true! Who got the pleasure of removing the tape?

  24. 48

    Eileen says

    Tell Vince I do the same thing. I hear about a disease and just know I have it. After Roger’s shoulder surgery, I swear I thought I had the same thing. I still do (haha), but seeing how incapacitated he is and the pain he’s going through, I’ve decided even if I did have it (which I probably don’t), I wouldn’t do a darn thing about it!! Enjoy your visit with your Mom and Dad!!