Last night I was reading something online and it was something I really didn’t agree with but I understood why this person felt the way they did and I started thinking about how much our own circumstances affect how we feel and often, I don’t think we even realize it.
Two things in my own life came to mind . . two things that are pretty extreme examples.
Once upon a time, before Vince . . way before Vince, I lived in Texas. It was a failing marriage; we had a house fire and we were inside the house asleep and it was ruled to have been arson. One night shots were fired into the house. It was an overall horrible experience. We were only there about 2-1/2 years but it was a horrible 2-1/2 years for me.
If memory serves me correctly, it was about six or seven years after we left Texas that I had gotten divorced, then Vince and I met, married, moved to Kentucky. As Vince had opportunities to advance his career and move to new locations, he’d always talk to me about the places and my response was always the same . . “I’ll move anywhere in the south EXCEPT Texas!”. It was the bad experiences I had there that made me never want to live in Texas again.
Now, except for Addie being in MO, there’s no place I’d rather be than Texas. I’m glad I had the opportunity live here again and somewhat forget the bad memories that caused my negative feelings towards Texas.
I’ll never forget the morning Vince called and told me about the job in Brownwood. He was telling me all about the job and then he said “There’s one problem . . it’s in Texas!” I took a deep breath and said “I can do it if you want to do it” and we did it! 🙂
The second thing is that we both disliked living in Nevada, MO. There were several reasons, and all of those reasons are still there. That’s one of the struggles Vince has with me wanting to go back there. With Addie there, it’s the only place I want to live but I know that there’s always the chance they’ll move somewhere else and then we’d be in the same boat we were in before. But, when I’m there, I’m happy to be there. Even when I go to Walmart or the grocery store without Addie, I’m still happy there. I guess it’s just knowing I’m close enough to her to be a part of her life that makes it seem different for me.
It makes me think about all the things I love, the things I dislike . . how much of it would be different if a few circumstances had been different? Why do I let circumstances have such a huge bearing on how I feel about things?
Even the town in Texas where I previously lived . . we go back there. I have a cousin there and when I’m going to Louisiana, I make sure to plan my trip so she and I can have lunch together. Several times, I’ve spent the night there when passing through. At one, when Vince and I were looking for places to retire, we even considered living there but I can’t do that. There are plenty of places we can live that I don’t have to go back to a place that does hold so many bad memories.
Life can be funny . . in a weird way.